My waiter looked appalled
I had just handed my waiter our bill and $150 in cash. When he asked if I needed change, I said “no,” but what I got in return was not the appreciation I expected.
His jaw went a little slack and his eyes bulged wide — the way a person looks when they’re stunned or appalled.
Had I done something terribly wrong?
I’d tipped him $27. That was 18 percent on a $123 meal. Was it the fact that I paid with a stack of $5 bills?
Paying for things in cash was common for me because I earned all my money as a street performer at that time in my life.
I literally made my living from donations that were placed in my hat after I gave away my comedy show, for free, to passing pedestrians. My job was to entice strangers to stop and have so much fun that they were willing to make donations, after the fact, for the experience.
$102,910
That’s how much I earned in my best year as a street performer, just by performing comedic, visual stories. The best comedy is always a story. Even if it’s a ten-second joke in a stand-up routine.
I went to a fancy french restaurant called “Deja Vu.” The headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?” — Steven Wright
My street-show stories, on the other hand, were told with physical comedy.
The finale of my show, for instance, was riding a unicycle that was 12-feet tall. All I had to do was stand that unicycle up in the middle of the performance area, get a volunteer to hold it, and back up like I was going to run and jump on.
With that one-wheeled machine towering above me and the crowd, no one would walk away until they saw how that story was going to end — with me being taken away in an ambulance or walking away in triumph.
The expression on my waiter’s face after I handed him the cash in this restaurant was the equivalent of having a 12-foot unicycle propped up between us.
My date and I had been satisfied in all ways with the meal — the lasagna, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Italian décor — and so I happily paid the check. But now our waiter was speechless.
He had my full attention, and why he was so upset was the $100,000 question of the moment.
Now I couldn’t tell him the truth
After a long awkward pause, the waiter walked off — in a stunned sort of way — with my money. Were they counterfeit bills, perhaps? Did my mug match up with a criminal wanted by the FBI?
My date and I huddled together in whispered conversation about what the problem could be when the waiter suddenly returned.
He had a big smile on his face and an enormous parfait glass filled with Tiramisu dessert. Placing it in front of us on the white-laced tablecloth he said, “Thank you SO much. This is on the house. I hope you have a wonderful evening!”
“Thank you SO much. This is on the house. I hope you have a wonderful evening!”
Then he departed.
What? Now I was totally perplexed. But wait.
I remembered being confused by the layout of the check. I looked at my copy of the bill. That’s when I saw what had happened. An odd way of displaying a separate subtotal for the wine had made a $77 meal look like a $123 tab.
I had just tipped my waiter an extra $78 for a $77 dollar meal.
Now it all made sense.
What stopped my waiter in his tracks was a feeling of being deeply honored — not offended or appalled.
I had just used the power of money to highlight the value of his service.
I never told the waiter the truth, that my tip was unintentional. The experience it created for him was too profound to retract.
The bright spotlight of story
That Tiramisu was the best dessert I’ve ever had.
My accidental tip put our dessert center stage in a story that elevated our enjoyment of it. I was also sitting taller myself. Through the eyes of the waiter, my own actions were highlighted. I had been extremely generous and now I was experiencing a different story about myself.
Stories are also a form of currency, capable of highlighting the value of simple moments and human experiences.
Focus. Attention. Value.
This is the realm of story.
Good storytellers have authority and influence over the destination of others’ attention and how much value their audience finds when they get there.
Those who become master storytellers earn the last job title they will ever need, because there is nothing you can’t have or create when you develop mastery of story.
Whether you’re a leader, manager, start-up founder, CEO, public presenter, writer, entrepreneur, mom, dad, hairdresser, therapist, or coach, you can use the value of stories to create benefit for the people, ideas, or vision you serve.
Sharing stories is how we can leave giant tips for our fellow humans, shining a light on the job we’re all doing just by showing up each day.
The more you tip, the better you’ll feel.
Telling your story
How you tell the story of your life is completely up to you.
Try it.
Take any interaction, circumstance or snapshot from your life—as mundane, ordinary, or random as it might seem—and write it down.
Once you’ve recorded your story, explore the nuances of the experience, what you might have been feeling at the time, what was happening for those around you, and what corners of the experience might hold value for others—the truths you can highlight.
Perhaps my tale about overtipping my waiter seems story worthy, but honestly, I dismissed the incident at the time as a bit of an embarrassment. Making the effort to unwrap its value today has been like unwrapping a birthday present. I didn’t know what was inside until I opened it.
You can’t be human without having stories worth telling. Learning to share them in a valuable and authentic way enriches everyone.
It takes courage to tell personal stories
Stories are a doorway to growth and discovery, for ourselves and for others. If you love writing, growth, and what you love most about work is connecting with other humans—I encourage you to do more storytelling.
I’ve been telling stories my whole life, first as a performer, and in the last 20 years as an author and professional speaker.
If you’re interested in practicing personal storytelling, I’m opening the doors to an online community for writers who want to learn how to share themselves authentically and provide value to others at the same time.
It’s called Courage Writer.
Sign up below if you’d like a free tour of my new Courage Writer community.
There’s no obligation to join the community if you take the tour.
I noticed two things Rick that really stood out for me.
Your generosity. Not so much of money, but of heart.
That telling stories about ourselves are like offering these generous tips.
I loved this peek into your street performing days!
Keep the stories about you coming!
What a fantastic story Rick. I'm tempted to call you a natural storyteller but I know it's actually a result of countless iterations. I've had the gitty feeling of leaving a big tip once and it's something I still remember to this day. Makes me want to make it a regular practice - to leave unexpected large tips.