Do you want more followers, higher engagement, and greater influence as a writer?
I thought so. Me, too.
If we’re clear about that, why do things like writer’s block, imposter’s syndrome, overthinking, and fear of publishing still stop us?
We can’t answer that question if we don’t admit that fear is everywhere in our lives, that we overthink more than just our writing, and that we often have life block — not just writer’s block.
I vividly remember being at recess at five years of age, experiencing a gnawing hunger in my active little body, and having no confusion about what to do.
It made perfect sense to me to walk over to the school cafeteria door, knock, and ask for food.
You see, I had a friend in the cafeteria. A kind elderly woman named Esther who wore a hairnet over her blue curlers and whose kind, wrinkled hands always gave me a little extra in the lunch line. I knew Esther was in there, and that all I had to do was ask for what I needed.
So I jumped off the swings, walked up the hot concrete stairs, approached the greasy screen door, knocked, and said loudly, “I sure wish I had some raisins right now.”
But there was no response.
So I repeated my wish three times until Esther finally appeared, but she didn’t look happy to see me. To my surprise, she looked annoyed, and in fact told me so.
“I’m busy,” she snapped. “Go away!”
That painful experience became a formative life strategy I’ve carried with me for decades.
“I can’t trust anybody, and I shouldn’t directly ask for what I want and need — I’ll only be shamed for it.”
This is how we create stories about who we are in relationship to the world: stories that we can carry around for a lifetime. In my case, my self-protective story became, “I’m not someone who needs any help.”
But I once wound up accidentally crossing over the Mexican border and being subject to a 4-hour vehicle search, luckily not paired with a personal body search, because I didn’t stop to ask somebody for directions.
And I should have hired a virtual assistant 10 years ago, but I’d rather reserve the right to disappear in a black hole of self-doubt and confusion for indeterminate periods than be vulnerable about my need for practical help.
We’re guaranteed to run into unnecessary difficulties in life when we modify our behavior to avoid our fears, rather than face them. Unconsciously, we might avoid freedom, opportunities, visibility, relationships, abundance, success, or particular places due to our fears.
But whether we’re aware of it or not, fear of being rejected by our family, classroom, playground, community or any other version of our human tribe is the most powerful force that shapes our behavior.
By the time we’re all grown up, we’ve internalized hidden familial, educational, and cultural rules that keep us in line.
So here we are now.
You and me.
Wanting to be the best writers we can be.
But outside of our awareness, our idea of how to get there is based on a fundamentally limiting story.
I can’t be me.
Which becomes the foundation of a losing life strategy.
Trying to be something we’re not.
Perhaps it’s why we’re drawn to the writing life. Because we sense the possibility of truly being ourselves, expressing ourselves fully, and reclaiming the aliveness that comes from living with authenticity and courage.
But how we live is how we’ll write.
The stories we can tell are limited by the stories we give ourselves permission to experience. As children, we’re completely connected to this natural state of permission.
I used to carry my son around in a shoulder carrier when he was a toddler. I was bent over doing dishes at the sink one day while my kid busied himself tracing imaginary roads and lines with his finger all over my head and shoulders. I didn’t discover until later that he had grabbed a Sharpie pen off a nearby kitchen shelf and was actually covering me and my pullover with permanent marker.
Clearly, we’re not born with writer’s block.
Instead, we are hardwired to try things and engage fully in our lives. We only learn to ask for permission later, and fearing rejection, many of us stop asking altogether.
We can’t produce engaging, inspiring, unique, and compelling stories without becoming a fully engaged person, but because we’re hardwired for that kind of engagement, all we need to do is be ourselves.
That’s the adventure described by so many philosophers, artists, and thinkers.
It’s Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.
It’s Oscar Wilde’s quote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
It’s jazz legend Miles Davis saying, “Sometimes you have to play a long time to be able to play like yourself.”
It’s ironic that it takes so much practice to be oneself.
It’s not so surprising, however, when we see how long we’ve practiced trying to be someone else.
Writing is a perfect vehicle for recovering ourselves and serving other humans at the same time.
There’s something about words on a page that serves as a powerful navigating device. When we tell our old stories, even just for ourselves, we instantly weaken the grip of their unconscious rule.
And then we can write new stories — we can light our way home to the lives we were meant to live, the essential values we were meant to champion, the purpose we were meant to serve.
Whether we’re writers, business leaders, therapists, creators, teachers, mentors, coaches, entrepreneurs, marketers or sales professionals . . . we can use writing and storytelling to line up with who we really are.
Confidence, influence, authority, authenticity.
That’s the currency that writers are paid in.
No wonder we want to write.
Because when we can write truthfully about ourselves, we can write truthfully about anything.
And the truth will set us free.
There are 4 resources we need if we wish to live more authentically and share ourselves courageously.
Clarity about how and where we’ve been hiding ourselves.
Confidence to take intelligent risks in life and with our expression.
Connection to a trusted community that will support us in our journey.
Consistency in our publishing.
I’m opening the doors to a community that will focus on supporting writers with all these things in 2023.
The platform is called Courage Writer.
Courage Writer is for you if:
You want to use your writing as a vehicle for personal growth.
Writing is one of your favorite ways to connect with others.
You believe that expressing yourself authentically and with courage is the key to what’s possible in your life.
You believe that the world needs to hear from more courageous writers.
If you’d like a tour of what’s coming in the new year, sign up below and you’ll be notified when Courage Writer is ready to host its first beta cohort.
Live the real you. Share the real you.
That’s my mission with Courage Writer in 2023.
Save your spot now for a tour.
"Writing is a perfect vehicle for recovering ourselves and serving others at the same time." Couldn't have said it better myself. A perfect sentence, Rick.
Yes! “When we write truthfully about ourselves, we can write truthfully about anything.” -Rick Lewis! When we have the courage to believe that we have something valuable to share with the world, we have the courage to shine that flashlight of attention inward on the goldmine in ourselves to unearth truths and wisdom that can add value to our own lives…and can add value to other people’s lives. I’m giddy with anticipation about connecting with you, Courage Writer Rick Lewis, and the other like-minded Courage Writer that your cohort community will attract. 😍😍😍